Christian Baker Screwed By Liberal Court Wins The Lottery

Melissa Morgan and her husband, Ben, have seen way too much bad news with their names on it. After being sued by a gay couple they refused to bake a cake for so they wouldn’t go to hell, they suffered loss after loss at the hands of the courts.

That streak of bad luck came to an end this morning when the Morgans learned they had won more than $3 million playing Oregon’s State Lottery. A spokeswoman for the Sweet Cakes shop told our reporter:

“Melissa and Ben are thrilled that God has come through for them. They had no idea how they would pay the $165K in ’emotional damages’ they legally owe a pair of fairies for having their feels hurt. It’s been a BS, overblown nightmare and they’re happy it’s over.”

Melissa Morgan says she played the same 5 numbers on the State’s Mega Winner weekly drawing for more than 10 years:

“The day I played my first number, they just came to me. A little voice told me not to worry, that God would be there in our time of need. And here he is. Those gays can have their money. I hope they use it to buy a nice wedding cake.”

You can’t help but feel vindicated for the Morgans after watching their lives fall apart for believing in Jesus. The war on Christianity is real, folks. We’re living it every day.

About Flagg Eagleton 45 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.