Sandy Batt, the woman who single-handedly saved the Trump family from a suicide bomber in 2007, is alive and well, according to reports out of New York City. City Comptroller Jolie Robbins told the New York Posterior Review that Batt’s checks stopped in 2009 when she was pronounced legally dead after dropping off the map.
Batt, who was given a fruit basket and an all-expense-paid stay at any Trump Resort for 2 days and 1 night with the purchase of a round of golf for jumping on a suicide bomber and disarming him outside of Trump Tower, disappeared after David Letterman called the gap between her front teeth “bigger than Alfred E. Newman’s.”
Letterman has said that Batt was aware of the joke but took it poorly when comedian Andrew Dice Clay abruptly added that he could “easily fit the purple-headed warrior through there.” Letterman added that you could “drive a Mack truck through there.”
Letterman confirmed the irony of his own gap-toothed grin and sent flowers to Batt’s family after she disappeared.
Now that she’s back she can finally tell us about that day, about why she decided to be so hush-hush about it and where she’s been for nearly a decade. Doctors say she’ll be awake and ready to talk by morning.
Let’s all send thoughts and prayers to Sandy Batt; the woman who saved Donald Trump so he could save us!