UPDATE: Hillary Clinton’s Excruciating Death Was ‘Like Something Out Of A Horror Movie’

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Hillary Clinton was killed this morning along with nearly 20 high-ranking Democrat officials when the plane they were traveling in was hijacked by patriots looking to serve justice for America. The men, former Navy SEALs, took the plane with the intent of “executing the prisoners on board for their high crimes.”

The man in charge, John LeTourneau, used his own 30-round magazine and put a single bullet in the heads of the 18 party officials while Clinton watched in horror. His partner,  Petty Officer Jack Bowman, said it was “satisfying” to watch certain members of the Dem elites lose some grey matter:

“Seeing the lifeless eyes of scumbags like Sandy Batt and Jolie Robbins really just made my day. Thosae bitches and their constant cries for ‘equality’ always made me sick. That was nothing, though, compared to what we did to Killary.”

Hillary Clinton was tied to a winch cable and released until she was flying behind the plane like a sign to Eat at Joe’s. LeTourneau, a certified explosives expert, then detonated a series of C4 charges in her pantsuit pockets simultaneously, sending bits of Clinton raining down on Little Rock, Arkansas.

Reynolds described the scene to police as he was being handcuffed as a “glorious moment of pink mist that ended with a better, safer world.”

Both men are in custody and charged with multiple counts of first-degree murder and unlawful disposal of a body. They both say they’ll happily choose the firing squad when they’re sentenced to death. Reynolds said it would be “fitting” to have his brothers in uniform pulling triggers after the Court Marshal.

About Flagg Eagleton 52 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.