The Democrat Party may have been unwilling to vote to keep the government open, but they really stuck together hours earlier when the Senate barely passed a measure to outlaw a great threat to our nation: Tide Pods.
As you’ve probably heard, kids have been doing the “Tide Pod Challenge” on YouTube, which consists entirely of — you guessed it — eating the colorful detergent pouches. Teenagers in Detroit, Pittsburgh, and San Jose and many other cities have been rushed to the hospital after nearly taking themselves out of the gene pool and somehow Democrats want to blame this on Tide rather than the dumbass kids’ POS parents.
As of October 22, 2018 it will now be illegal to manufacture or sell the dishwashing pods in the United States if the measure passes when it goes to the House when Congress returns to session.
The bill, authored by new Democrat Senator Doug Jones, will allow fines “up to seven million and one dollars” for companies who manufacture Tide Pods as well as “severe penalties” to anyone who sells them within the United States. This part would kick in on October 22, and “criminal penalties of up to 23 days in jail and a fine not to exceed $1,000” will kick in on January 1, 2019.
All 49 Democrats voted in support of the bill, as did RINO’s John McCain, Jeff Flake, and Bob Corker, bringing the total to 52 for and 46 against, with two Republican members abstaining from voting.
Democrats in the House of Representatives later refused to keep the government open, enlisting Libertarian Rand Paul to stifle the funding agreement, which negotiators worked all day to secure. This was an attempt to create blame they will throw at President Trump, who completely opposes a shutdown because he’s smart enough to know the damage it will do to the country.
It is unclear when Congress will get the government open, but we can thank the Democrat Party for killing a product just because some stupid kids in blue states ate them for a YouTube video.