COURT RULING: Clinton Foundation Guilty Of Killing Hundreds Of Children With ‘Pesticides’

The 4the Federal Circuit Court of Uganda ruled earlier that the Clinton Foundation is guilty of “pesticiding their children to death.” The accusations cover nearly 20 years of crop-dusting practices by Foundation planes that protect fields used for “medicinal medicine” from the invasive Prager worm.

The fields, according to the Ugandan Court, are far too close to the villages and schools. Hundreds of cases of pneumonia and radium poisoning have ravaged the village children for nearly two decades. The “medicinal medicine,” they say, is opium, marijuana and cocaine:

“The Clinton Foundation is running a drug farm in Uganda and nobody seems to care. Today that changes. This court finds The Clinton Foundation to be solely responsible for the deaths of these children. They are ordered to pay restitution in the amount of $46 billion US and to never step foot on sovereign Ugandan ground again.”

The Clinton Foundation was expelled from the country when the case was filed pending the outcome. Now we know. As usual, the Clinton Foundation’s sole purpose is to break the law and profit from public despair.

A spokesman for the company says the allegations are absurd. “We don’t dust crops or own planes in Uganda. Who comes up with this stuff?” The Ugandan Minister of Information confirmed the charges, the outcome of the case and the disposition to this publication shortly thereafter.

Laws enacted to protect George W. Bush from prosecution for his cooperation with Afghani drug lords will keep any of the Clintons from being deported or from a foreign court seizing their bank accounts, but they will now have actual prices on their heads to be delivered to the Ugandan authorities.

Hopefully they forget all about it and go for a nice safari.

About Flagg Eagleton 52 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.